WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

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WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  Smashy B on Wed Aug 26, 2009 6:55 pm

Dear Mr. President, Senate and House of Representatives:


I'm planning to move my family and extended family (18-20 mouths) into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.


We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.


So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:



1. Free medical care for my entire family.


2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services
I might need, whether I use them or not.


3. All Mexico government forms need to also be printed in English.


4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish
By English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.


5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.


6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles
At their school.


7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.


8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy
access to government services.


9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan
to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.


10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo
from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.


11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U.S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th.

I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.


12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes,
or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.


13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be
extremely nice and never say a critical things about me or my family,
or about the strain we might place on their economy.



I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. From Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely, US Citizen & Taxpayer

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  jumpingwhitebean on Wed Aug 26, 2009 6:56 pm

Oh god ha ha <3

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  The Meta Knight on Wed Aug 26, 2009 9:58 pm

You know... I really miss satire. Thank you so very much.

Tom Lehrer would be proud.

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  Serras-Kai on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:05 pm

I lol'd.

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  xXkawai_baka_420Xx on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:58 pm

Being a Non-American, I half-lol'd.

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  Sanosukesama on Thu Aug 27, 2009 4:26 pm

Mexico also legalized marijuana (up to a certain amount).

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  Smashy B on Fri Aug 28, 2009 11:04 pm

Sanosukesama wrote:Mexico also legalized marijuana (up to a certain amount).
California should too. Help get our state out the shit hole it's in with debt.

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  SurgePox on Sat Aug 29, 2009 11:19 am

smashbro wrote:
Sanosukesama wrote:Mexico also legalized marijuana (up to a certain amount).
California should too. Help get our state out the shit hole it's in with debt.

Protip: Marijuana is illegal under federal law. California legalizing it does nothing.

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  MENTOK the MINDTAKER on Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:18 pm

Australia has no such forms of favouritism... unless your aboriginal in some capacity.
-clears throat again-

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  Xaros on Mon Aug 31, 2009 12:10 am

Lmao!!! This has got to be the funniest thing I have ever read!!!
hahahahaha.

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

Post  Sanosukesama on Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:12 pm

*lights up a doobie & passes it to Xaros*

Welcome to the 'Sunshine' state baby~ Cool

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Re: WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO

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