Lonely Hearts Club

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  JGH27 on Sat Jul 02, 2016 4:22 pm

Ok, so thanks to the long weekend (and a very shitty Canada Day yesterday) I actually have a little time.

So here we go!

I'm an idiot. Now that we've established this the rest of the following shit show shall flow like gravy.


Back in February I was contacted by Amanda whom for those keeping count at home is the same girl I've been crazy for over the last 4 years whom we keep getting into major fights and go long periods without talking. So she contacts me because surprise surprise things didn't work out with her latest abusive boyfriend. So we begin talking while I'm in the middle of my busiest school term yet. We ended up seeing each other in March when she was in Niagara Falls (20 minutes from where I live for school). We hook up and I spend the night in her hotel room with her. Next day I head to classes and didn't hear from her for days (even though we had plans the following few days). When does reply she's pissed because I kissed her at the Falls when she just wanted me as a friend. Which would be a big deal IF we didn't have sex that same night! That and if she hadn't cheated on a different ex with me last summer. Which is a whole other can of worms.

So she wants nothing to do with me ever again.

No communication is exchanged until end of May when I get a text saying "we need to talk". After confirming it was her number (I had deleted it) I find out that not only is she pregnant but that it could be mine. Apparently the timing of us hooking up matched up with the estimated time of conception. Since that night (where we talked a lot and tried to figure shit out) she had another ultrasound and the doctor believes conception was about a week later.

Now here is where things went to shit. So she finds this out and essentially not only rules the possibility of me being the father out she 180's on how she treats me and such. Despite it being an eta of a week later there is still a scientific chance that I could be the father as we hooked up on the 16th and conception is estimated to be the 20-25th. Sperm can live up to 5 days from what I've heard/read and as such puts us at the 20th/21st. An overlap of 1-2 days. She insists I'm holding on to blind hope and trying to cling to the impossible.

Current status is not talking/not in each others lives this time by my choice as she wanted to be friends but I said friends wouldn't work as it never has and I'm too in love with her for it to work.

So that's a very brief summary of things.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Fedaykin on Sun Jul 03, 2016 12:42 am

The simple question is: did you use contraceptions? I know they aren't perfect, but still, that's what they are for

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  JGH27 on Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:59 am

Fedaykin wrote:The simple question is: did you use contraceptions? I know they aren't perfect, but still, that's what they are for

JGH27 wrote:I'm an idiot.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Raya on Sun Jul 03, 2016 2:30 pm

God-fucking-dammit J, why do you keep sticking your dick in this girl? All you're doing is torturing yourself, over and over again. For your own sake you've got to get out of this situation- you're just stuck in this awful loop that's never going to end until you've destroyed yourself.

But eh, what's done is done now. Yes, you're right about conception dates being a load of crock, because you can conceive nearly a week after sex (this is why, gents, you should handle your own contraception- do you really trust your one night stand to have taken her pill correctly for 2 weeks running?). But if she's been fucking other guys in quick succession, you've got no way of knowing 100% unless there's a DNA test.

This is a really shit situation J, and you do have my sympathies, but you have absolutely got to cut this girl out of your life, because she's killing you. Do it for your own sake, PLEASE.

_________________
HG/SS Friends Code: 2364 8721 9695   B/W Friends Code: 2193 7770 9554   X/Y Friends Code:1805-2682-3033
"Foxes never lose their tricks, do they?" - Quaetman
"We'll be going about our business one day and then someone will be like "hm, where's Barda" and Raya will all suspiciously be like "WELL DON'T LOOK AT ME"..." - Rocket Admin Camilla
King Avalanche:
Spoiler:

FUCK YOU RAYA.

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

AND

FUUUUUUCKKKKK YOOOOOUUUUU

the one time I trust you with my back and you plant a dagger in it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Fedaykin on Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:44 pm

JGH27 wrote:
Fedaykin wrote:The simple question is: did you use contraceptions? I know they aren't perfect, but still, that's what they are for

JGH27 wrote:I'm an idiot.

Basically, this is your best option


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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  JGH27 on Mon Jul 11, 2016 6:48 pm

Raya wrote:God-fucking-dammit J, why do you keep sticking your dick in this girl? All you're doing is torturing yourself, over and over again. For your own sake you've got to get out of this situation- you're just stuck in this awful loop that's never going to end until you've destroyed yourself.

But eh, what's done is done now. Yes, you're right about conception dates being a load of crock, because you can conceive nearly a week after sex (this is why, gents, you should handle your own contraception- do you really trust your one night stand to have taken her pill correctly for 2 weeks running?). But if she's been fucking other guys in quick succession, you've got no way of knowing 100% unless there's a DNA test.

This is a really shit situation J, and you do have my sympathies, but you have absolutely got to cut this girl out of your life, because she's killing you. Do it for your own sake, PLEASE.

I will reply to this properly when I have the time but for now thanks Raya

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Fedaykin on Sun Aug 21, 2016 1:04 am

Any updates J?

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  JGH27 on Sun Aug 28, 2016 7:41 am

I had gone about 6 or 7 weeks without any communication. Last night though in a move of stupidity I called her, she didn't answer. I'm currently in Welland (here for school) and was bored and incredibly lonely. I thought about all the good times in the past and decided I wanted to call her.

I don't understand why I can't just get over her. It's actually very frustrating because I know I deserve better but I just can't seem to find it.

That's where things currently are for me.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Fedaykin on Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:44 pm

So i guess the whole potential fatherhood will just be cleared up once the baby is here, right? And loneliness makes you do silly things, I know from experience. And I guess she just hits a spot in you that really resonates with you? And I mean, it has to be somewhat mutual because she apparently can't get over you either.

On a different note, update from myself. It's getting even more real. Olga wants to move in with me, for good. I can still barely believe it. There are a lot of legal hurdles to overcome, but this is it, the big moment I've been waiting for over a decade.

Do I have doubts? Probably, but they are nothing compared to the feeling watching her go away through that airport gate. I was a shambling shadow of myself. I don't want that to experience ever again. I was almost reduced to a sobbing pile of tears the evening before she left. I know, it will take time to sort it all out, but the sooner the better

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  JGH27 on Mon Aug 29, 2016 6:11 pm

Honestly I don't know when that will be cleared up. Right now just kind of concerning myself with other matters.

And I mean, it has to be somewhat mutual because she apparently can't get over you either.

Glad its not just me thinking this. She's the only one I can see myself spending my life with and at the same time I see the issues with that as well. Its simply a mess.



Good for you tho Fed sounds like things are going really well for you and I hope they continue to do so. You deserve it! Smile

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Raya on Fri Sep 02, 2016 11:59 am

JGH27 wrote:
Glad its not just me thinking this. She's the only one I can see myself spending my life with and at the same time I see the issues with that as well. Its simply a mess.

J, are you listening to yourself speak? You sound like a battered wife with an abusive husband. "Oh yes, they treat me like shit and make me feel awful, but I still want to spend the rest of my life with them~". No, this is a terrible idea. You've just latched on to the idea that being with this girl will make everything better, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary. And just like a battered spouse, instead of finding someone who will treat you well and not mess you around, you just stick with the emotional abuser because you'd rather be fucked over in a familiar way than risk being fucked over in a way you don't.

Grow a spine, delete her number, and get her out of your life. You deserve someone who will treat you with love and respect, because you ARE a great guy J, you just need to self-respect to realise that. Just get out of this poisonous emotional tar pit.

Fedaykin wrote:And I mean, it has to be somewhat mutual because she apparently can't get over you either.

No it's not. I speak from experience here, it's incredibly gratifying to have a guy so hung up on you he'll come crawling on his stomach no matter how badly you treat him. Why on earth would she ever date J, knowing that she can happily fuck about with whoever she chooses, and he'll just come running whenever she snaps her fingers? Keeping him around is just an ego boost, knowing she's desired. She's had ample opportunity to get with him, but hasn't because she's having her cake and eating it. It genuinely wouldn't surprise me if- when she's alone and realises how expensive babies are- she suddenly starts being all nice again because she knows J will happily give in and be her provider until she gets bored again. This whole situation is just absolutely toxic.

_________________
HG/SS Friends Code: 2364 8721 9695   B/W Friends Code: 2193 7770 9554   X/Y Friends Code:1805-2682-3033
"Foxes never lose their tricks, do they?" - Quaetman
"We'll be going about our business one day and then someone will be like "hm, where's Barda" and Raya will all suspiciously be like "WELL DON'T LOOK AT ME"..." - Rocket Admin Camilla
King Avalanche:
Spoiler:

FUCK YOU RAYA.

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

AND

FUUUUUUCKKKKK YOOOOOUUUUU

the one time I trust you with my back and you plant a dagger in it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Doctor Shulk on Wed Oct 26, 2016 6:17 am

So I went to the UK, got mostly avoided, came back and got dumped. Back to the club for me!

J, I hope you share you visit to Maury Povich with us. (Or Jeremy Kyle. I watched a shitload of Jeremy Kyle while being left on the couch and avoided to the point of not even getting to play video games together Razz )

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  JGH27 on Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:53 pm

Funny, I joked about going on Maury to get a free paternity test.

She has been out of my life for awhile now. It all just kind of clicked one day that I was fed up with the shit.

To address one point though Raya, "you just stick with the emotional abuser because you'd rather be fucked over in a familiar way than risk being fucked over in a way you don't." Truth is I'm not afraid of being fucked over in a different way, I've legit struggled to meet anyone. Period, let alone get to any relationship level stages. Loneliness kept me going back and hopeful.

Now I'm focusing on my career and if someone is interested I'll consider things as they come up.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

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