Lonely Hearts Club

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Quaetam on Mon Dec 10, 2012 6:44 pm

@Weldar; my comment was clarifying the term, not stating that it's some kind of moral wrong. I agree with you wholeheartedly.

By the way I have to second Perry's comment here. Yeah, it sucks when someone doesn't want to date you, but ultimately you have to accept that it's their choice. I hate seeing people rationalize this sort of thing as 'just another bitch screwing me over', or calling the girl cold-hearted, and so on. I don't know if I can call it narcissism, but it really can take an individual with a lot of denial to look at something like a rejection, or series of rejections, and cope with them by rationalizing them to be a moral wrongdoing on the part of the other person. It's not amoral, it's their human decision. It's okay to be bitter about being rejected, or to question why it happened, and hell, while I haven't done it myself, I'd say it's okay to try to win someone over to an extent, but you have to know when to back down, and furthermore, you have to know to respect them. Sometimes it hurts too much to remain friends following a rejection, and that's understandable. However, you're doing both yourself and your interest a disservice by painting them black.

Rather than rationalizing them as the villain, try to respect their choices, and respect them as a person, and move on. Keep them as a friend if you feel you can be a genuine friend, but don't remain friends if you're just trying to do it to get in their pants. You owe that both to yourself and to your person of interest.

And finally, if rejections happen a lot, it might behoove you to sit down with a level head and look at yourself and really question what you might be doing wrong, or better yet, think what you can improve about yourself, both to make yourself a better candidate, and to help your general happiness as a whole. Everyone's improving, we all have things to work on. Introspection is an incredibly valuable skill, and once things calm down a bit, can be a valuable tool in coping and moving on.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Perry on Mon Dec 10, 2012 6:50 pm

I am so going to try to use the word "Behoove" in the RP.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  DRTJR on Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:57 pm

The other end of the Narcissism range is the "Their Loss" mentality, which is how I'm still as happy as I usually am. When my friends who are female have offered advice it has been, start liking modern music, stop being sarcastic, Be more sarcastic, be yourself, act like someone who isn't from the 80's, wear skinny jeans (a fate worse than death.), stop being intolerant of the cold, and stop wearing heavy jackets when it's only 50 outside.

an eclectic amalgamation of advice.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  SnakeInABox on Mon Dec 10, 2012 9:56 pm

I mean, I could break it down for you and tell you exactly what you're doing wrong and what you need to do right, but that knowledge obviously wont do very much good for you will it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  DRTJR on Tue Dec 11, 2012 3:42 am

If it doesn't help me it will at least provide a feeling of schadenfreude to the rest of the forum.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Raya on Fri Dec 14, 2012 6:17 am

SnakeInABox wrote:
I don't understand what dictionary you guys are looking Friend-zone up in, but I don't see how it puts the female down? Anyone can get friend-zoned, all it means is that you like someone but they don't like you that way back, they just want to remain friends. It's not something to get really pissy about, its not something to make jokes about, and its not a phrase that puts down the person not getting rejected. getting friend-zoned is just a thing that happens, and it's better than a flat out "No I dont like you and now I dont want to talk to you ever again" rejection.

This is one thing that winds me up about people making out the girl is terrible for putting guys in the friendzone. I've friendzoned people before, and it's never malicious. I was friends with them before they developed feelings for me and I still value their friendship. Why should I cut off, change or destroy our relationship just because I don't return their feelings? I still want to be friends with them because I enjoy their friendship. Yes it sucks I've rejected them, but if they're not emotionally mature enough to recover from it and still maintain our relationship, then it's not my fault.

I think it's people building up in their minds that they're perfect for the other person, so if they get turned down obviously they're just being malicious and stupid.

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FUCK YOU RAYA.

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

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FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

AND

FUUUUUUCKKKKK YOOOOOUUUUU

the one time I trust you with my back and you plant a dagger in it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Requiem on Fri Dec 14, 2012 9:45 am

I can honestly say, I've been friendzoned a few times, and I've never considered the person who rejected me to be doing it out of malicious intent. I also recently had to turn down someone, and she took it pretty hard. Like, she apparently felt like I turned her down just to hurt her or something. It didn't make any sense. Really it just comes down to the person I think. Judging everybody who talks about the friendzone like they think they're the perfect person for whoever they're interested in isn't right. Yes, a lot of people do feel that way, but there's also quite a few who don't.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  .. on Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:27 am

If anything I would blame myself. Which I generally do.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Fedaykin on Fri Dec 14, 2012 4:40 pm

So I met the girl again who I fancied in sommer. Her boyfriend seems to be a nice guy Razz

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Doctor Shulk on Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:18 am

Fedaykin wrote:So I met the girl again who I fancied in sommer. Her boyfriend seems to be a nice guy Razz

it was Raya, wasn't it. Razz

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  SnakeInABox on Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:35 am

No it was you oh wait nv,m you dont quite fit the bill

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Raya on Sat Dec 15, 2012 10:03 am

I thought it was already established that half the forum is in my harem?

But no, it's not me he's talking about, don't get so excited and full of gossip Razz

_________________
HG/SS Friends Code: 2364 8721 9695   B/W Friends Code: 2193 7770 9554   X/Y Friends Code:1805-2682-3033
"Foxes never lose their tricks, do they?" - Quaetman
"We'll be going about our business one day and then someone will be like "hm, where's Barda" and Raya will all suspiciously be like "WELL DON'T LOOK AT ME"..." - Rocket Admin Camilla
King Avalanche:
Spoiler:

FUCK YOU RAYA.

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

AND

FUUUUUUCKKKKK YOOOOOUUUUU

the one time I trust you with my back and you plant a dagger in it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  .. on Sat Dec 15, 2012 12:00 pm

Don't try to deflect it.

I have pictures.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  SnakeInABox on Sat Dec 15, 2012 12:38 pm

And we all know how much you like austrian balls

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Vivienne Vex on Sat Dec 22, 2012 1:48 am

So, I guess I may be banned from this club that I was kinda a part of but not really? I don't know.

Basically that post that I made on Facebook got my ex and I talking. And he asked me to take him back after awhile of talking.

I am very split between the middle. Which is why I am going to sleep on it.

This has been a very interesting day all because it was dooms day. As I said, we need more doom days!

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Doctor Shulk on Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:16 am

Went to the Mana Bar for a friend's 21st, guy I kind of vaguely knew through a music group the friend who's birthday it was has on Facebook and I chatted and then he kissed me before I left.

Still got it. Cool

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  .. on Sat Dec 22, 2012 9:12 am

Doctor Shemp wrote:
Still got it. Cool

Fuck you!

..
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  SurgePox on Sat Dec 22, 2012 12:23 pm

Viero wrote:So, I guess I may be banned from this club that I was kinda a part of but not really? I don't know.

Basically that post that I made on Facebook got my ex and I talking. And he asked me to take him back after awhile of talking.

I am very split between the middle. Which is why I am going to sleep on it.
Be very very cautious about this sort of thing, especially if one or both of you got hurt last time. It's almost never worth it to rekindle relationships like that and usually ends just as badly as the first one did.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Vivienne Vex on Sat Dec 22, 2012 4:40 pm

It did not end that badly, but regardless, I have my priorities. (the two personal goals in the Q&A section) And I will not allow anything to keep me from complete and utter success. Not a Boyfriend nor any other distraction.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  .. on Sat Dec 22, 2012 4:44 pm

Funny, I used to be like that. Amazing how things turn upside-down.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  TheTJ on Sat Dec 22, 2012 6:26 pm

A girl at work came in wearing a small Tom Baker scarf.

...must find out if she's single...

Wish me luck!

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  DRTJR on Sat Dec 22, 2012 6:29 pm

TheTJ wrote:A girl at work came in wearing a small Tom Baker scarf.

...must find out if she's single...

Wish me luck!
Via con Dios, y buena suerte, mi amigo.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Doctor Shulk on Sun Dec 23, 2012 1:32 am

Outlaw wrote:
Doctor Shemp wrote:
Still got it. Cool

Fuck you!

Stop knocking yourself out at 8pm and go out and do fun things Razz

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  .. on Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:43 am

Doctor Shemp wrote:
Outlaw wrote:
Doctor Shemp wrote:
Still got it. Cool

Fuck you!

Stop knocking yourself out at 8pm and go out and do fun things Razz

But the meds make me feel good!

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

Post  Raya on Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:57 am

Viero wrote:It did not end that badly, but regardless, I have my priorities. (the two personal goals in the Q&A section) And I will not allow anything to keep me from complete and utter success. Not a Boyfriend nor any other distraction.

But boyfriends are the best kind of distraction Razz

You don't need to choose one or the other, you can still achieve your goals even if you're dating. A good SO will encourage you to achieve them and stop you getting burnt out. As long as they're supportive there's no need to completely rule them out.

Agreeing with Surge about being cautious though. You broke up for a reason and leopards don't change their spots.

Outlaw wrote:
But the meds make me feel good!

So does someone saying she loves you.

_________________
HG/SS Friends Code: 2364 8721 9695   B/W Friends Code: 2193 7770 9554   X/Y Friends Code:1805-2682-3033
"Foxes never lose their tricks, do they?" - Quaetman
"We'll be going about our business one day and then someone will be like "hm, where's Barda" and Raya will all suspiciously be like "WELL DON'T LOOK AT ME"..." - Rocket Admin Camilla
King Avalanche:
Spoiler:

FUCK YOU RAYA.

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

AND

FUUUUUUCKKKKK YOOOOOUUUUU

the one time I trust you with my back and you plant a dagger in it.

Raya
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club

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